The Best Marriage Advice from a Divorced Man

“If we make the conscious decision to daily place our spouse’s desires and needs above our own, and that’s reciprocated, the marriage will succeed. Utter and complete selflessness. Isn’t this true in all healthy relationships?”

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:

1. Never Stop Courting

Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.

This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect Your Own Heart

Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall In Love Over And Over Again

You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always See The Best In Her

Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. it’s Not Your Job To Change Or Fix Her

Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take Full Accountability…

…For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never Blame Your Wife If You…

get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.

You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow Your Woman To Just Be

When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.

The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.

Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be Silly…

Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill Her Soul Everyday…

Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be Present

Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be Willing To Take Her Sexually…

To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t Be An Idiot

And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give Her Space

The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.

(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be Vulnerable…

You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be Fully Transparent

If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds…

Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never Stop Growing Together

The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t Worry About Money

Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive Immediately…

And focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always Choose Love

ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity.

Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN – THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

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6 Brilliant Tips on How To Select The Perfect Watermelon

Watermelons are undoubtedly ones of the most refreshing, delicious, and healthy fruits we can consume during the summer season, and their distinctive taste is popular among all generations.

However, it can be a bit tricky when you go to purchase watermelons, and you might come home and realize it is bland and dry after you have carried the load of 10 pounds.

Yet, this is no longer a serious issue, as we will give you several useful tips on how to spot the perfect watermelon:

1.Observe the bum

Watermelons do not ripen after being pulled off the vine, and while farmers hurry to supply the market with their fruits, some of them might be plucked too early. Therefore, make sure your watermelon has a big and dark creamy patch at the bottom.

2. Shape and shine

Avoid watermelons which have lumps and bumps, as they should be oval and uniform. If it has even color and shape, it means that it has ripened adequately. Moreover, shine shows that it isn’t completely ripe.

3. The color

Light watermelons have not ripened long on the vine, so always choose darker green ones, with lighter stripes.

4. Lift a few

Watermelons are mostly made of water, so if your fruit is light when you lift it, it is probably dry. Therefore, always pick the ones which are heavier than expected.

5. Avoid stems

You should never buy watermelons with stems, as they have been gathered before being completely ripe. Try to find ones that have a slightly indented end, which shows that the melon fell off the wine on its own.

6. Knocking

Some believe the habit of knocking on the watermelon is pointless, but White On Rice disagrees, maintaining that you can pick the right watermelon by holding it and thwapping to feel the vibrations in the bottom hand.

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7 Signs Your Guardian Angel Is Trying to Contact You

Angels are spiritual beings, which guide us. Although they have a much different frequency compared to humans, their guidance comes in the form of channeled messages, dreams, and directly receiving insight. Therefore, there are many signs which show us that the angels are around us and they are trying to contact us. These signs may seem small and meaningless at the beginning, but over time they may increase in frequency and size.

These spiritual beings send us signs, which are a symbolic reminder of their love and support. Therefore, we present you some of the most common signs from the angels. You may start noticing these signs because you need some validation or answer to a question you may have asked, or they may serve to simply remind you your angels are with you.

7 Common Angel Signs

Feathers

If you find feathers on your path, it is one of the signs of the angels. This is an amazing reminder that angels are near, loving and supporting you. If you experience this situation, then enjoy in this powerful angelic sign.

Clouds

If you notice a cloud which looks like an angel, it means that your angel is near to you and in this way it is showing its presence.

Scents

If you feel a lovely sweet scent and you are unable to identify the source, it indicates that your angel is near you.

Babies and Pets

If you notice a baby looking up smiling at the ceiling, or excitedly gazing into the air, it means that the guardian angel is present. When an angel is present, babies and pets seem to be at ease.

Music

If you hear angelic singing or a nice sound that you cannot explain, it may be a clear sign from your angel.

Coins

If you keep on finding coins, it is a sign fro your angel and a symbol of support. So, if you find coins, you should know that you’re loved, supported and guided.

Sparkles of Light

If you start noticing orbs, unexplained shimmers of light, or flashes of color, it means that your guardian angel is near. If you experience this, you should close your eyes, relax, and breathe because your angel is trying to bring you healing, upliftment, and rejuvenation.

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The Secret to Back Pain is In Your Feet! Learn the 10 Exercises That Fix Everything!

Back pain is a very common problem that most of the people experience at some point of their life. Such pains can be triggered by different body postures, improper sitting, standing and many others and they can appear on a daily basis.

However, this article provides you an easy and very simple way to release your pain. It includes exercises that will help you remove pain in the back, knees and hip.

If you practice them more often, you won’t experience any problems.

These are the moves that will improve your balance and body posture, and relieve your pain.

Feet are one of the most important body parts that control your overall balance, body posture and some pains. They enable our movement throughout the day while withstanding some uncomfortable footwear. A suitable care of them will provide a prime condition of the whole body.

With aging our feet become deteriorated and painful so it is hard to walk. That’s the reason why one in three Americans fall suddenly and the risk of falling increases in the 80s and the 90s.

While walking, the pressure on each foot controls the balance of the rest of the body. Also, pain in one foot can put off your balanced walking or standing.

If you exercise on a regular basis, you will strengthen your muscles and keep a proper blood flow thus preventing any balance problems connected with age.

The balance relates to body posture and it involves a proper alignment of bones and muscles to keep your upright. If they are not aligned in the proper manner your body posture can out of balance.

According to a study, women who wear high heels have greater risk of experiencing pain in the lower back. This pain can cause problems with the posture and you have to undertake different methods to relieve the pain.

We’re going to show you a few simple exercises that will support your back muscles and posture and relieve the pain in your lower back.

– Toe Press

You should get a good warm up prior to engaging in any exercise. You may want to use toe press movements in order to get your body prepared and your blood flowing.

Stand straight up and then bend the knees slightly, so that you grab the floor with the toes. Practice this exercise for about 5 seconds and then do 10 repetitions. Practice this exercise 3 times on a daily basis for best results.

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These 9 Butt Exercises Are Better Than Squats. Try Them!

Everyone wants a nice toned tush, but not everyone knows the best way to get one. The majority of people think squats are the best way to get their dream butt, but this just simply isn’t true. Let’s face it, squats are awful, they get boring after about 10. Not everyone is even able to do squats, for example, those of us with bad knees. There is so much more you can do to get that better butt without ever doing a single squat.

Included in this article are 9 exercises to get that better butt, that work better than squats.

1. Single leg glute bridge

In this exercise, you start by lying on your back, knees bent, feet close to your butt. Straighten one leg, and squeezing those glutes, lift your hips and butt off the floor. Lower your butt until it’s hovering over the floor, and repeat without touching the ground. Make sure to switch legs!

2. Hydrants With Leg Extension

Begin on all fours with your knees hips-width apart and your wrists stacked over your shoulders. Keeping the knee bent to a 90-degree angle, lift the right leg out to hip-height, then extend the raised leg straight out to the side. Pause before you bend the knee again and bring your leg back to starting position to complete one rep.

3. Rainbows

Begin on all fours with your knees hips-width apart and your wrists stacked over your shoulders. With a pointed toe, extend your right leg and reach the foot toward the ceiling. Slowly lower your leg to tap the floor. Squeeze your glutes as you lift the leg back to starting position, then lower the leg to tap the floor about a foot to the left of your kneeling foot. Return to starting position to complete the rep.

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‘Once a cheater always a cheater’: Why infidelity happens more than once, according to science

According to a recent study, someone who cheats will most likely cheat again. Learn more about the science of infidelity, below.

Cheaters will always be cheaters, or at least this is what a recent study claims. This is because “the brain adapts to dishonesty”, which results in a person feeling less and less guilty as they lie and cheat repeatedly.

According to the study, repeated dishonest acts blunt the amygdala, or the part of the brain which is negatively affected when we lie. Each time we lie or cheat, its response weakens.

In an interview with Elite Daily, the study’s co-author and researcher of the Princeton Neuroscience Institute, Neil Garrett said that their findings will be further tested on relationships to see if a “similar mechanism could apply.”

“The idea would be the first time we commit adultery we feel bad about it. But the next time we feel less bad and so on, with the result that we can commit adultery to a greater extent,” he said.

Cheaters become repeat offenders because they’re numb to guilt

photo: pixabay

“What our study and others suggest is a powerful factor that prevents us from cheating is our emotional reaction to it, how bad we feel essentially, and the process of adaptation reduces this reaction, thereby allowing us to cheat more,” he continued, adding that serial cheaters become repeat offenders because they have adapted to the pattern and no longer feel bad about infidelity.

Back in 2014, a study from Denver University claimed similar findings. Based on data on 484 unmarried couples, gathered over 5 years, researchers found that 32 percent of couples reported their partner had cheated over the course of the study. What’s even more alarming was that 45 percent admitted to cheating more than once.

Those cheated on found themselves dating cheaters again

Another finding in the research suggested that the partner who was cheated on will most likely date a “philanderer” again.

22 percent of those who broke up with unfaithful partners ended up dating cheaters again, according to the study.

“Perhaps some people are very limited in their partner pool, based on social, economic, or geographic constraints, and don’t have the freedom to select more reliable partners,” muses study author Kayla Knapp. “Or maybe they learn that sexual infidelity is acceptable or expected based on past experiences.”

Though these studies are well researched, they shouldn’t be used to make hasty generalizations as it’s always fair to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps people can really change and there is no exact science to explain why there are rare cases of cheaters becoming faithful.

But this is worth noting, if only to protect those who have been cheated on repeatedly by helping them make informed decisions when choosing a potential partner. There is a reason cheaters cheat, and it’s often because they no longer find reasons why they shouldn’t.

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POLICE IMMEDIATELY ARREST MOTHER AFTER SEEING THE PHOTOS SHE POSTED OF HER BABY (PHOTOS)

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Biosensing Tattoo Changes Color When Your Blood Sugar Levels Change

Having type 1 or 2 diabetes requires a person to always know what their blood sugar levels are. This normally takes time and can be quite invasive – normally people prick their finger with a special device and place a small drop of blood on a testing strip. Others have a device implanted just under their skin that continuously measures their blood sugar levels and sends the information to an external device.

A team of researchers at Harvard and MIT have now come up with a rather curious alternative. Using a specialized ink, they have come up with a biosensing tattoo, one that will change color depending on your blood sugar levels.

Known as DermalAbyss ink – currently still in the proof-of-concept stage and not available to the general public – it is able to track pH levels, as well as sodium and glucose concentrations within your bloodstream. Too much glucose and the ink becomes brown. Too much sodium and it becomes green (under UV light, at least). Purples and pinks indicate a changing pH level.

“The DermalAbyss ink presents a novel approach to biointerfaces in which the body’s surface is rendered as an interactive display,” the team explain in a promotional video.

The dynamic ink isn’t directly hooked up to your bloodstream, to be fair; it’s actually monitoring your interstitial fluid, a substance that surrounds the tissue cells of animals. Water, ions and small solutes – including salts, sugars, fatty and amino acids and hormones – are constantly making their way through this fluid across the walls of your capillaries.

At present, it’s only been tested on pig skin, which is very similar to our own. However, it definitely works – but human trials are still required to see if it’s workable with patients. Are there any allergic reactions that people may have to the ink? Will the technology break down over time?

Still, it’s safe to say that this is a rather novel and elegant solution to a problem that hasn’t really been addressed for some time. Only time will tell if it catches on. It’s still invasive, of course – but only at first, whereupon it then just becomes a part of your biology.

The researchers point out that the tattoo can take any shape or form you like, so each persons will be unique to them – much like conventional tattoos.

“We envision new participation between the biotech companies and skin professionals…in order to embrace the idea of human device symbiosis,” they conclude.

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NASA Confirms Earth Will Experience 15 Days Of Darkness In November 2017

There have been many reports about the changes our planet Earth could endure in the months and years to come but many of them didn’t really pan out, making us question everything we read on the internet. But this time, NASA confirms what’s been circling the web recently – our planet Earth will experience total darkness for 15 days in November 2017 starting from November 15 to November 29.

NASA reports that this strange occurrence was expected to happen but they didn’t know exactly when. Upon more detailed examination the astronomers from NASA confirmed that the phenomenon will start on November 15 at 3:00 am and will most likely last until November 30, 4:45 pm.

According to experts this blackout will be caused by an astronomical event between Jupiter and Venus. There was even a detailed 1000 pages document written by Charles Bolden, head of NASA explaining the strange event to officials at the White House.

According to the report, during this specific period Jupiter and Venus will come in close proximity of each other and will be separated by just 1 degree. Venus will move to the south-west of Jupiter and as a result it will shine 10 times brighter than Jupiter. Venus’ bright light will heat up the gases in Jupiter causing a reaction which will release a an absurdly high amount of hydrogen into the space. This reaction will come in contact with our Sun at 2:50 am on November 15th.

Once the hydrogen reaches the Sun, a massive explosion is bound to occur on the surface of the Sun, increasing the temperature to more than 9000 degrees. The whole process will generate so much heat that the Sun will change its color into a bluish shade. Once this happens, the Sun will need a minimum of 14 days to restore its normal color and temperature.

As a result of this strange phenomenon, the Sun’s light will be seen much dimmer from the Earth and hence the 15-day blackout NASA is talking about.

“We do not expect any major effects from the Blackout event. The only effect this event will have on Earth is an increase of 6 – 8 degrees in temperature. the polar cap will be mostly affected by this. No one should worry much. This event would be similar to what Alaskans experience in the winter”, Bolden said.

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How often should you have sex according to your age (chart)

Do you have too much or too little $ex? The problem is that we have less time to spend some quality time with our partner, plus all the stress of modern times, and the fact how different we are only adds to that.

For some people having sexual intercourse twice a week is enough, while a for others that can be either too little or too much.

Research conducted at the Institute Kinsey revealed how often individuals have $ex, if we take into consideration their age, and here we show the results:

• 18-29: On average 112 times a year;
• 30-39 years: on average 86 times a year;
• 40-49 years: on average 69 times a year.

Otherwise, 13 percent of married couples have $ex only a few times a year, 45 percent of them several times a month, 34 percent two to three times a week and 7 percent of them four or more times a week.

The website “Your Tango” then conducted its own survey among readers who are married, to find out the minimum, average and ideal number of $exual activities for one month.

• Minimum: Once a month;
• Average: Once a week;
• Perfect: Three to five times a week.

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This is what happens to your body when you stop having Sex. No. 3 makes me really scared.

There is hardly anything that contributes to a better mood or offers more fun than one of the most beautiful pastimes in the world. But the importance of a healthy and regular sex life really is often underestimated.

Here are eight good reasons why you should not neglect your sex life.

Because this is what happens to your body when you stop having sex:

Why a healthy sex life not only ensures a good mood

1. You get sick more often

If you don’t have sex for a long time, your immune system becomes significantly weaker. Germs then have an easier job of spreading in your body and you can catch a cold or get the flu more easily. So, just by having more sex, you can help keep your herbal remedy teas in the closet!

2. Your stress levels increase

Sex is a great way to reduce your stress levels. Regular sex reduces the amount of stress hormones and makes you feel more relaxed in everyday life. Without this important balance, you could become a ticking time bomb!

3. It’s harder for you to get aroused

It’s hard to believe, but true: If you don’t regularly “practice,” it’s difficult for a lot of people to become aroused. Men can experience problems having erections and it can be harder for women to have an orgasm. So, you have to stay on top of things to make sure the “switch” always remains on.

4. Your dreams change

Some people suddenly notice that they have strange dreams when their sex life is suffering. It can mean that you unexpectedly start dreaming about sex or have orgasms in your sleep.

5. Over time you lose your desire to have sex

If your body notices that you’re having a prolonged dry spell in the sexual sense, the production of sex hormones reduces. You feel less like having sex if you have been abstinent for a while. In addition, your libido will eventually feel different. And this is all due to the fact that your sex hormones are slowly vanishing.

6. You’ll feel more distance between your partner and yourself

When a couple in a relationship only rarely sleep together, their interpersonal distance becomes greater. You may start to have feelings of uncertainty related to your partner and other people will seem more attractive to you.

7. It lowers your feeling of self-worth

It is not surprising that a person’s self-worth is harmed, if that individual does not regularly feel desired. But a lack of sex has been proven to affect a person’s well-being, leading to sadness or depression when sex is absent from their lives. Studies have shown that having sex regularly helps fight depression. It can sometimes even work as well as antidepressants.

8. Your risk of cancer increases

For men, the risk of prostate cancer increases when they don’t have sex for a longer period of time. So it’s not a bad idea for men to “flush out” the pipes. Because then the risk is significantly reduced.

Well, if all this isn’t motivation enough, then I don’t know what is! For all these reasons, it would be almost irresponsible not to make love more regularly, don’t you think?!

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NASA Confirms Earth Will Experience 15 Days Of Darkness In November 2017

Thhere have been many reports about the changes our planet Earth could endure in the months and years to come but many of them didn’t really pan out, making us question everything we read on the internet. But this time, NASA confirms what’s been circling the web recently – our planet Earth will experience total darkness for 15 days in November 2017 starting from November 15 to November 29.

NASA reports that this strange occurrence was expected to happen but they didn’t know exactly when. Upon more detailed examination the astronomers from NASA confirmed that the phenomenon will start on November 15 at 3:00 am and will most likely last until November 30, 4:45 pm.

According to experts this blackout will be caused by an astronomical event between Jupiter and Venus. There was even a detailed 1000 pages document written by Charles Bolden, head of NASA explaining the strange event to officials at the White House.

According to the report, during this specific period Jupiter and Venus will come in close proximity of each other and will be separated by just 1 degree. Venus will move to the south-west of Jupiter and as a result it will shine 10 times brighter than Jupiter. Venus’ bright light will heat up the gases in Jupiter causing a reaction which will release a an absurdly high amount of hydrogen into the space. This reaction will come in contact with our Sun at 2:50 am on November 15th.

Once the hydrogen reaches the Sun, a massive explosion is bound to occur on the surface of the Sun, increasing the temperature to more than 9000 degrees. The whole process will generate so much heat that the Sun will change its color into a bluish shade. Once this happens, the Sun will need a minimum of 14 days to restore its normal color and temperature.

As a result of this strange phenomenon, the Sun’s light will be seen much dimmer from the Earth and hence the 15-day blackout NASA is talking about.

“We do not expect any major effects from the Blackout event. The only effect this event will have on Earth is an increase of 6 – 8 degrees in temperature. the polar cap will be mostly affected by this. No one should worry much. This event would be similar to what Alaskans experience in the winter”, Bolden said.

The post NASA Confirms Earth Will Experience 15 Days Of Darkness In November 2017 appeared first on Healthy Food Team.

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